Here at Myvitamins, we know that sexual wellness is an important part of your general health. This Spring, to support the launch of our new libido supplements, we've asked So Divine expert Jess Wilde to answer your most frequently asked sex questions. Whether you're struggling with libido or wanting to spice things up in the bedroom, read on to learn more about all-things sex...
Your Sex Questions Answered
Q: Is there a trick to help yourself feel turned on in the moment if you're not already?If you’re not turned on, why are you in the moment? Arousal is the first stage of sex and sex play so if you’re not aroused, why are you entertaining sexual play? If it’s a case of you being turned on at the start but you’ve lost the desire part way through sex, then that’s when to stop or have a break.
If this happens frequently, it may be worth considering why you get distracted or lose your libido during sex. Is it that your partner isn’t hitting the right spots? Or perhaps outside stresses are seeping into your thoughts during play? These can be remedied through a candid conversation or by learning better stress management and focussing techniques. Remember, consent is an ongoing conversation which can be given or removed at any point, whether you’re alone or with a partner.
Q: Can libido change depending on the seasons?"It’s completely normal for libido to fluctuate at different times, and how and when this occurs is entirely down to the individual."
Yes! Many people report that they feel a change in their libido depending on the time of year, with lots of people saying they feel hornier in summer, whilst others report that winter gets them hot under the collar. In other words, it’s completely normal for libido to fluctuate at different times, and how and when this occurs is entirely down to the individual.
Q: What Is Myvitamins Stimulate?Stimulate For Men and Stimulate For Women are two new Myvitamins supplements, designed to support your libido from within. They both contain essential nutrients zinc and vitamin B, alongside herbal ingredients including oyster extract and fenugreek. Try them for yourself:
For more expert libido advice, take a look at our blog:
How long is a piece of string? Different people climax at different points, and the amount of time it takes to reach orgasm can vary from one day to the next. Sometimes it happens quickly (within a couple of minutes) and sometimes it takes longer (up to an hour). It really depends on so many factors, like what activity you’re doing, how mentally and physically aroused you are, and overall health and wellbeing.
Q: I've never been able to orgasm during foreplay with myself or with a partner - what do I do?"Stress and orgasms don’t go well together."
It sounds like you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself to reach orgasm which, in itself, is probably part of the problem. Stress and orgasms don’t go well together, and the more you focus on climaxing, the further away that goal can get. For this reason, my first tip is to try not to think about orgasming. Sexual exploration doesn’t have to end in orgasm for it to be fun and satisfying and by moving the focus from what you want to happen to what is happening, you’ll be more in the moment and experience a much more enjoyable pleasure session.
My second piece of advice is to experiment. Without judgement or preconceived ideas about what you like, pleasure-map your body by touching everywhere - from the top of your head to the tips of your toes - to discover where and how you like to be touched. Try a range of different stimuli, from sex toys and lubricants, to different temperatures and locations.
Q: I struggle to orgasm without a toy, how can I have the same feeling with myself/a partner?Struggling to reach orgasm without a sex toy is very common, in fact, that’s why sex toys are so popular. They enable you to enjoy pleasure and sensations that wouldn’t be possible otherwise. I’m inclined to ask why you want to orgasm without a toy?
An orgasm is an orgasm regardless of how you achieve it, so why make things more difficult by trying to climax without one? To me, that’s like saying “I only like chips with salt and vinegar; how can I make myself eat them without?” Why bother? If you know that toys work for you, rather than complicating things, why not try adding more toys to your life, and incorporate them into your couples play to enhance your shared orgasmic potential?
Q: Does size matter to please my partner?"Size is irrelevant when it comes to pleasure potential."
Size (whether we’re talking about a penis or a vagina) is irrelevant when it comes to pleasure potential during couples play. Firstly, in terms of penis size in heterosexual pairings, most women don’t climax from penetration alone anyway. In other words, no matter how big or small your penis is, it isn't likely to be the thing which makes her climax. It is definitely true that ‘it’s not the size that counts, but how you use it that matters’.
When it comes to vaginal size, the idea that ‘tighter is better’ is unhealthy and untrue. A tight vagina (on entry) is usually one which isn’t properly aroused and ready for penetration. A vagina which is ready for sex does more than get wet: it elongates (also known as tenting) and moves the cervix out of the way in preparation for a penis (or a toy or fingers.)
Q: What is bondage?"Whatever it is you and your partner decide, it needs to be clear, concise and listened to."
Bondage is a sex play which involves some form of restraint. This can be anything from wearing a blindfold to being restrained by wrist cuffs or even simply being held in a certain position to limit movement.
Bondage requires considered conversation and should never be explored without a failsafe way of communicating when you want to be released. Some people use a safe word, others use a signal (like finger clicks or ‘tapping out’) and some people are happy just saying ‘ok I’m done now’. Whatever it is you and your partner decide, it needs to be clear, concise and listened to.
